Chapter 30: Getting My Weight Up.
My intentions aren't so much rooted in attempting to undo the thrills of the past decade, but more so establishing security for myself. The most toxic trait of my 20's was doing everything I wanted without having a thorough/solid plan. However, shout out to me for learning how to thrive with the least amount of resources. Turning 30, I was no longer intrigued with flying by the seat of my pants on one way flights. I wanted and deserved more, something substantial to return to. So I set the intention that this year I would ground myself tangibly.That being said, it started with a mindset change. My 30th birthday brought in refreshing energies; between welcoming a new romantic partner, consolidating/paying debt, and reconciling the past and karmic dispositions. On the lowest possible key, I've been aligned with this transition since my 25th birthday when I thought I would lose it all. Seems like it took another 5 years to close that chapter.
But rest assured, the party is just getting started at 30!! You're an actual adult now, and you are eligible to make the most of the lessons you've learned in the years prior. You can begin taking the necessary steps to redefine yourself, and explore anything you pushed to the back burner. Here are some tips and tid bitties of advice for those who might be feeling a little anxious about this chronological milestone. Have no fear, love. After reading 30 things I learned about turning 30, I promise you will feel more assured.
1. Keep your options open.
Your goals in life will continue to evolve as you learn more about yourself and your capacities. Therefore the way you set out to achieve your desires is also likely to change. Be fluid, and know there's more than one path to get to where you'd like to be.
2. Recognize everything as a moment in time.
Nothing lasts forever, so practice detaching yourself from outcomes and relationships so that you can live a better more fulfilled experience. It's always just a moment in time.
3. Stay great-full!!
When you are blessed with the simple luxuries of good health, people that love you, fresh food, running water, the power to create your own opportunities, and have control of your bodily functions, remain great-full for everything! Any of us could all be one second away from drastic lifestyle changes.
4. It's a privilege to get old, don't be afraid of it.
When you rush through life, you miss all the gems and delicious scenery along the way. Old miserable people who are out of touch with reality will end up telling you things like "don't get old". I'm here to tell you, they don't understand the meaning of life; the antithesis of getting old is to die young. Who in their right mind would wish that on you? While aging has its side effects, becoming a seasoned elder is a blessing few get to experience.
5. Everybody won't deserve a piece of your mind.
Discernment is a part of adulting. When you are in the throws of living life, taking care of business, you'll realize that you don't have the luxury of wasting time to dole out pieces of your mind to everyone... especially those who rub you the wrong way. This is not to be confused with advocating for yourself. What's the difference? Energy... Save your breath, save your time. If you go around consistently speaking your mind, what will be left/preserved for yourself?
6. Take care of your body while you're young.
Lubricate your joints. Eat greens, do vegetal and fruit cleanses. Consume herbs. Fast twice a year from processed food, and all substance based vices. You can see a chiropractor, massage therapist, or even try doing acupressure. Stay active with frequent walks, jogs, zumba, pilates, yoga, etc. important thing to remember :any injuries you sustained during your childhood in life will impact you during the later years. They start as subtle aches and pains, but can end up being worse if you are not proactive about your care..
7. Date yourself.
This is simple; whatever you do for enjoyment that you love to share with someone else, do it alone. That could be dinner, a movie, bowling, gallery hopping, etc. Reinforce your caliber of love.
8. Travel outside of your hometown.
Traveling is always a great idea. No matter where you are in the world, there are countless destinations that will expose you to a culture and environment different than what you've grown accustomed. And culture shock is healthy. Experiencing life in different parts of the world is actually the best teacher.
9. This too shall pass.
that's it. that's the tip.
10. Make your bed in the mornings.
May seem trivial, but honestly, this will make you feel like you have yourself together. The room will have a cleaner appeal, and if you're anything like me and have to throw clothes all over the bed while you're getting ready, having a made up bed makes this a little bit better.
11. Be Teachable. Acknowledge that you don’t know everything.
When you act like you know every thing it can sometimes rub people the wrong way, especially those you want to mentor you. I'm not saying feign ignorance and act clueless, but at least present yourself as an open vessel for knowledge. Each chronological milestone comes with the opportunity to exercise a different set of muscles you didn't even know you had in the years prior.
12. Make people earn you as an asset.
When you operate as a decent person, you will attract two kinds of people: those who recognize your worth, and those that don't. The ones who see your value will be glad to contribute, because they know you'll reciprocate the energy. The ones that don't will not appreciate you, and are therefore more inclined to mismanage your presence in their lives.
13. Own a variety of dresses, lingerie, and footwear.
Frankly my dear, you've got to be able to effectively code switch and assimilate no matter the occasion. While it may be your personal goal to stand out, you also never want to get caught slipping by being unprepared and having to fly out at the last minute to get something new. It's okay to switch things up every once in a while.
14. Good looks aren’t everything.
Don't get caught up comparing your external beauty to anyone else's. As long as you have a pure heart with good intentions, and don't spread lies about people, you'll age quite gracefully. Enjoy your unique beauty and reap the benefits thereof, but don't allow the external to define you.
15. My mother was right about somethings.
You may think because your mom doesn't know too much about the details of your industry or your life's happenings, that you should tune out everything she says. Only one problem: she's been on this earth a little longer than you, therefore, her insight is rooted in wisdom. When she says "that girl ain't your friend" or "don't trust that guy" she's not always hating... she sees something you're incapable of seeing. But listen, take the meat and leave the bones....
16. You can’t pick your relatives, but you can choose your family.
Relatives are people you share blood with/ the group of individuals you were born to. Your family are those who reciprocate, appreciate, and cultivate. You may find one or two people you share blood with that support you, but by no means are they obligated to do so. Avoid harboring resentment towards them, and move forward with love so you can attract the family your soul deserves/.
17. Diversify your skillset
"A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one". Take that and run with it. You are likely to be a very resourceful asset to yourself and your network if you are well connected and knowledgable about different things.
18. Purchase the assets while you have the money.
Every age is the right age when you have the money to invest. How much of course will depend on the market you're looking to invest in, but the idea is to spend the money wisely while you have it, because it takes time to build wealth. The key is to let your assets appreciate over time as you age like fine wine.
19. You can be the villain in your own story.
When you are adulting effectively, you will start seeing that it's not always about being right or wrong. As you learn more about conflict resolution, forgiving yourself, and learning how to be accountable in a situation that yields favorable outcome, you'll begin seeing its not always 'the other person'. It's about the lessons you learn.
20. Love without limits, but don’t let them mistake you for a sucker.
People will take as much as you are willing to give them, and they will not check to see if you have anything left for yourself. It's not to say you can't love openly and freely, but just be mindful to save some of you for you.
21. You need people to survive.
Nobody gets anywhere alone. Even people who say they're "self-made" often have a handful of people to thank for either feeding them, speaking life into them, teaching/mentoring them, investing seed money, etc. You'll get a lot further in life with other people.
22. Joy is medicine so laugh a lot... at everything.
Life isn't to be played with, but don't take yourself too seriously.
23. Listen to your elders.
Old people are the gifts that keep on giving! Their parables, riddles, and idioms will teach you so much about life. Don't discriminate against the old bitter farts who misused their time; make them an example of what not to become.
24. Honor your father and mother is for your benefit, not so much your parents.
This is a popular favorite bible scripture, but in my opinion, the meaning is missed. Your days will be long and fruitful, not the days of your parents. Don't do things to spite people, for setting out to hurt others only weakens your immunity and dries out your skin...
25. Have your own, but allow yourself to be spoiled.
Self-sufficiency is always the goal, but also let people dote on you... if it's genuine. Sometimes it's hard to discern if it's genuine or not. But your spirit will know. There's a certain type of people that relish in constantly bringing up what they did for you, or will want to hold something over your head. Let that be a them problem, don't take it personally.
26. Every sis, ain’t a sister, and every bro ain’t a brother.
All yo skin folk ain't kin folk. People are going to fancy you just to get close to you, and break you. For some bizarre reason, that may be their MO, another personal problem... Don't be a martyr for unity.
27. Your intuition will never lead you astray.
Listen to your gut, it'll never steer you in the wrong direction.
28. Spend some time enjoying nature.
There are so many health benefits to getting out and spending a little time amid fresh air and away from traffic. You don't have to be a tree hugger like me, nor do you have to be a super outdoorsy person to enjoy the outdoors. Start with a nature walk, or a picnic in the park.
29. Don’t compare yourself to other people
Social media is the ultimate breeding ground for comparisons to take place. Take my advice, don't do it. It's easy to want to compare yourself, and always outdo the other person, because the name of the game is to garner attention and go viral. You can be important and notable without making a spectacle of yourself in the vein of comparison. It'll never stop.
30. Don’t waste time, don’t waste money, spend them both wisely.
Time and money are two of your most valuable resources in life. As you mature, you'll see them both fluctuate, and your ability to make certain movements will change. You can always get more money, but you can't get time back.
*** forgive yourself for all the silly sh*t you did in your 20's.
IDK who put the world under the impression that we absolutely need to have our lives figured out in our 20's, but the myth has been debunked. I'll just reiterate what my mother has told me: "what you do in your 20's benefits you in your 30's... what you do in your 30's benefits you in your 40's.
Live life fully and without guilt.
What advice would you give to your younger self? Feel free to leave a comment on the things you've learned as you've reached chronological milestones.
Until next time,
peace + purple