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  • Duchess-Simone

Polyamorous, Non-commital, Call it What You Want, But I'll Tell You What it Is

Me: As far as you know, I'm broke and don't nobody want me.

Also me: She's got a roster.

Turns out, I'm really great at friendships. She know's what a real nigga needs.

If the single life has taught me anything, it's taught me how to be very strategic, and to only reciprocate, never initiate. In my boo'd up days, I was the 'bend over backwards for my boyfriend because after all he's my man, and life is rough for him and I want to see him happy, and blah blah blah blah blah'. So cute. I was such a damn sap.

I had to recalibrate my approach with guys. , I needed incentive.I put out in the Universe the things I wanted, the things I needed, and my response was ten fold. I am a testament as to why you should be mindful of your vibrations and affirmations because I manifested multiple boyfriends.

It's natural for post people to get all up in arms when they hear conversations about non monogamous lifestyles, and while I can't speak for all, I'm only here to talk about my experience with it.

What Polyamory is:

Having more than one relationship while still upholding relationship standards. There's commitment, there's trust, there's open communication, there's still respect that goes into a successful and healthy polyamorous relationship.

What Polyamory isn't:

It's not swinging. It's not irresponsible and reckless sex, infinite sex partners, dishonesty, sneaking and creeping around, disrespecting your partners and the rules that you've set. Toxic, terrible habits. Weakened moral compass

You'd be surprised how much effort goes into making it work. If you think a monogamous marriage is hard work, imagine keeping multiple women consistently happy, fulfilled and consenting. If you're a good guy with pure intentions, it's more like an adventure, but most men think pleasing a woman is a chore.

Polyamory is a relationship between multiple people. In leymen's terms, we agree to see other people.

I used to think my biggest relationship woe was not being able to commit. But commitment wasn't necessarily my biggest issue as much as other things like intimacy, adventure, and excitement.

Dating now is more like what I was hoping it would be before. It's exciting, it's romantic, it's somewhat lustful at times, but that varies from encounter to encounter. From person to person. I actually want to share stories about my trysts, rendezvous, and legendary mishaps.

But in any case, I will go as far as to say I never wanted to be a man's one and only. I found that it's been too much pressure. I want my guy to feel fulfilled to have his fun, and be with who he wanted because I didn't feel completely fulfilled by him, and vice versa. As young as I am, and as gorgeous as I am, you think I'm finna be sitting around sunk in the face trying to please someone I'll NEVER be able to make happy?


Being about that life, I have been more emotionally intimate than I have in my monogamous relationships. And there in lies the main difference between monogamy and polyamory: freedom. My partners and I are free to choose who we want to spend time with, etc. I'm a lot less jealous in my relationships, and I'm more comfortable to ask about other women that my partners are involved with. There's no pressure to keeps secrets, and there's a greater amount of trust than I've given in past unions. I've just always ask him to keep it real with me.

Honesty is such a high standard, whether I'm just sexing you or you, you, and you over there.

Which brings me to my next and very last point: protection. Whether you're in a closed or an open relationship, you'd still want to get tested every time a new partner is painted in the picture. Everyone gets STD and STI screenings. I don't play that shit. At all.

Anyone who is sexually active needs to be screened. Your relationship status and world views don't matter because diseases don't have a preference to any of that.

Men cheat, and so do women, so why continue to put yourself in miserable situations, and bring harm to someone else's life? It's damn near 2020, be authentic about your wants, and boss up on your needs. You can have one, two, or a few.

peace & purple