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  • Duchess-Simone

9 Personal & Unique Things My Social Media Doesn't Tell You

People are always confused by how much I let my "weird" hang out in their company. No lie, I truly get off on people's reactions to unusual things I say or do. Like when I'm on a date and order hot water and don't put any lemon in it. Or when I'm on a date and I order hot water and put my own tea bag in it. Or like when I'm at the art museum and use disinfectant wipes to clean a pair of headphones before placing them on my head so that I can engage with an interactive piece. I always get that sometimes nervous stare, like "oh wow, she's serious..." and I love every minute of it.

I don't have anything to hide, hence the mantra Bare With Me. I also don't give disclaimers like "sorry I'm just weird". I'm not weird to me, therefore to others I'm unique, exceptional, different than what they might find normal.

Here's a few things you might not be aware of.

  1. I have to have more than one of everything to keep in multiple places. For instance, iPhone charger: 1 stays home, 1 for on the go, 1 in every purse. --Make up remover wipes: 1 pack in every purse, 1 pack at my desk, 1 pack at the sink, etc. --Contact solution and eyedrops: 1 in every purse, 1 by my desk, the list goes on. I can't stand running out of my basic essentials, and because I'm always on the go, I make sure to avoid depletion at all costs.

  2. By no means can I brush my teeth while the toilet seat up. It's disgusting, revolting. The sight of it just causes a mental panic. I'm just the kind of person who believes the toilet seat should be kept down when not in use. When I go in to do my makeup and brush my teeth, the toilet has to be down. No Matter What. You can imagine how hard this had to be growing up with two brothers. That's why whoever is bold enough to become my life partner, has to learn how to constantly keep the toilet seat down for me, or just stay the hell out of my bathroom. :)

  3. I want to reincarnate as a dolphin or a bird. If I came back as a dolphin, I'd be a bomb swimmer, and I'd have some pretty damn good skin. I also wouldn't have to worry about hair or coat maintenance. Dolphins are beautiful, majestic, sleek, and sexually liberal creatures. And birds, I mean, who the heck wouldn't want to be a bird? I wouldn't have to worry about the cost of airfare, I'd get to shit on people without remorse. I'd love to be a boundless and agile creature whose needs are truly met by the universe. Birds don't worry about there being a shortage of worms in the ground, they just go where there's worms in the ground. I always use the bird as example of how I model my lifestyle. It prevents me from stressing about things like bills and living expenses. Repeating and believing *All my needs are met*.

  4. Men like to come up with a bunch of different ways to say I'm short. Like, dude, ok I get it, I'm small. But I absolutely hate any and all short people references including but not limited to fun-sized, bitesized, vertically challenged, etc. Don't call me fun-sized, I'm an adult.

  5. Spiders and jumping spiders drive me NUTS! They make my skin itch. Their skinny little legs and their skinny antennas freak me out. You never know what their intentions are, you don't know when and where they're going to jump. Overall, they just look straight up sinister all the time.

  6. When I was serious in my monogamous pursuits, I was an extremely devoted partner. But these days, I have to say that I am more likely to cheat on my boyfriend than I am likely to cheat on my diet. That's why I prefer open relationships because see, the way my commitment to self is set up...

  7. I love cinema about mafias and mobs. Some of my favorites are Blow, American Gangster, The Godfather, Goodfellas, Belly, All Dogs Go To Heaven... I'm more likely to neglect an action packet movie with blood and gore. For Duchess, it's all about the story line.

  8. My favorite actors are Denzel Washington, Taraji P. Henson, Keanu Reeves, and Robin Williams. I probably won't turn town anything starring those cinematic angels, unless we it's another stereotypical production where Taraji is typecast as the angry black scorned woman.

  9. Sugar is my weakness, and it's my favorite thing to have unfortunately. It's hard to avoid because I thrive on natural sugar like fresh fruits. But processed sugars like, cookies, cakes, and other delectable pastries are the bane of my existence. Knowing that they rot my teeth and ruin my skin helps me to avoid them.

What are some of your unique habits and idiosyncrasies that have caused nervous stares by people outside of your sphere? Drop them in the comments, and let's let our weird hang out together.

peace and purple